Insanity

Just for the record, I will put aside my aversion to the tedium of talking about the weather to say, without qualification, that This Winter Sucks. 'Nuff said.

There are lots of forms of insanity. In my own little way I can qualify by my irrational inability to take his glasses off the dresser. The very day after the funeral I went through the closet, loaded up the car with all of his clothing and drove to Interfaith Social Services to donate everything. I knew if I waited it would never get done. What I did not do was to take his watch, glasses, and jewelry box off the top of his dresser. Joan Didion wrote about not being able to get rid of her husband's shoes--he might need them when he comes back. The top of Philip's dresser looked as it did every night when he put his glasses and watch there. Which is to say, it looked like his dresser.

After a little more than a year I took everything off the dresser, rearranged some things, put his watch away in the drawer with all the other watches (he collected watches the way some women collect shoes), moved some pictures over there, and generally changed the look. What I still have not done is remove the glasses. So sue me. I'm not making a shrine, I'm just, well, a teeny bit insane. At least I recognize it, so maybe I'm saner than I think.